Drive-By Monday: June 11, 2007

> You've heard of the Consumer Product Safety Commission, which is there to protect us from unsafe toasters and toys. How about a Financial Product Safety Commission?


> GOP prez candidate Mike Huckabee thinks Gitmo is a nicer place to be a prisoner than the state pen. Assrape, torture, assrape, torture -- six of one, half a dozen of the other, right, Mike?


> Supreme Court nixes "enemy combatant" policy.


> GOP almost-candidate Fred Thompson challenged by the religious right; Fake Fred talks back.


> U.S. government's security contractor Blackwater Security Consulting countersues families of four American contractors who were burned, beaten, dragged through the streets of Fallujah, and their decapitated bodies hung from a bridge over the Euphrates River.

Speed Reading

> The Ron Paul Internet phenomenon is being dismissed as (1) just a lot of spam [AC], and (2) just a lot of non-Republicans [Ace of Spades].


> Wow. After you read about shady "auctions" of domain names that aren't for sale, go all the way down and read reason to speculate about domestic spying of the Web. [Uptime]

> The federal government's bizarre refusal to allow any cattle operation to test all its cattle for mad cow disease is more evidence "that this venal administration's declarations about their love of the 'free market' appears to be the utter bullshit we already knew they were." [Anything They Say]

> Bush wants to cut " the only large-scale measurement of the impact of Medicaid, food stamps, school lunches, unemployment and other safety-net programs for the poor" -- with a Bushie explaining, "Life is a trade-off." (Tell that to the people on Medicaid, food stamps, and unemployment.) [WaPo]


> Fred Thompson dips toe into presidential race, turns out to be mack daddy. [Fred Thompson's Private Journal]


> Dems debated last night. [WaPo] Our verdict: Gravel brought the crazy; Kucinich sounded like an episode of Oprah featuring Marianne Williamson; Obama was unexpectedly boring.

Memorial Day Drive-By

>> Who is this moron? (And I'm not asking about Ron Paul.)


>> This is news?


>> McCain finally went back to the Senate after missing more votes than anyone but Tim Johnson, who suffered an aneurysm. Best commentary: “By all accounts, John McCain is not recovering from the brain hemorrhage many believe he suffered around the time he announced his candidacy for president.”


>> This guy asks the question that this blogger has memorably answered.


>> Most people in this country work shit jobs for shit wages, but campaigning about it "carries significant risks." (Because not campaigning about it has totally worked for Dems.)


>> It turns out we were all fucked up before we were even born.


>> Daytime TV: so many reasons not to watch, and now it turns out the hosts and staffers really are that insipid.


>> Damn. Those of us who are fantastically good looking are being discriminated against.


>> Nature abhors an idiot.

Drive-By Monday: Non-Wonky Links Edition

• Our favorite dark rabbit hasn't hopped in a while...



• ...but she did point us in the direction of valuable medical information.



• There is hope for all of us... or fate is a cruel bitch, one or the other.
  



• You can either listen to inadequate karaoke or this kick-ass brilliance.



• Framing, yadda yadda yadda.



• Oh, and this guy has excellent taste.
  

A Taste of Crazy, Ron Paul Style

Blogland has gone bananas for hopeless GOP prez candidate Ron Paul.

Maybe it's because he serves it up crazy with a side of insane. Here's a look at what he's been bringing to the table in Congress this year:

• H.J.RES.23 : Proposing an amendment the Constitution of the United States relative to abolishing personal income, estate, and gift taxes and prohibiting the United States Government from engaging in business in competition with its citizens.
  

• H.R.1094 : To provide that human life shall be deemed to exist from conception.
  

• H.R.1095 : To prohibit any Federal official from expending any Federal funds for any population control or population planning program or any family planning activity.
  

• H.R.1146 : To end membership of the United States in the United Nations.
  

• H.R.1897 : To protect the second amendment rights of individuals to carry firearms in units of the National Park System, and for other purposes.
  

• H.R.2096 : To sunset Federal laws and regulations which treat the American people like children by denying them the opportunity to make their own decision regarding control of their bank accounts and what type of information they wish to receive from their banks, and for other purposes.
  

And that's just what's crazy from the titles.

Drive-By Monday: 5.7.07

Grammar Lesson: “I will never go to Olive Garden again.” Not because I have taste, but because I now have the taste.

No Longer the 51st State: The Canadian plot to take over the U.S. has begun…

Déjà Moo: …assuming they don’t drive themselves mad first.

The Buzz: Hottest diet trend for 2017 will be the Bread-and-Water 24/7.

Advances in Literary Theory: “Meta-bukkake.”

Lubricant: So useful, and so delicious!

Drive-By Monday: 4.30.07

Grammar Lesson: Apparently there’s a difference between a massage and a “massage.”

New Foods, Coming Soon: Anti-diarrhea rice. (We’re going to wait until it comes in sake form.)



Government Ethics Lesson: You can be totally sleazy, and it’s OK if you are transparently sleazy.



Job Tip: In case Daddy doesn’t give you enough weed money.

Confusion, Thy Name Is Government: Someone’s a pot, someone’s a kettle, and this is about high levels of power so no one is black.

Restaurant Review: New York ain’t the only city that likes its pizza with a little something extra.

Third Food-Related Item, So I Must Be Hungry: Insert your own joke from the Seymour Butts/I.P. Freely family of comedy here.